To Move or not...so many questions

I'm an adult. I now make decisions for the long term and get stuck at a crossroads. to move or not to move? Its so funny how when the chance to move out finally comes your way, all the responsibiltiy and money begin to scare you a great deal. I was like most my age; can't wait to get out of my mother's house, make my own money, and pay my own bills. Finally the chance to achieve all of that surfaces and i'm too scared to move and lose my job so i would have to come back home. The worst feeling on earth is to move out and have a small taste of freedom to then move back home. Although quite common, it is not a great feeling and I dont' want to experience it. The choice seems so easy, but yet it's not, because unless I can move out for free until I get a more stable job situation, i'm stuck wondering if i should move out or if i should live for free for a few months, get fired, then move back home at the end of the semester...the world has gone mad! But the decision has to be made, and none of it can include living with my mother. I will have to do whatever it takes to not get fired, and pay my own way in my own place. It's my dream, and I should do whatever it takes to achieve that dream. Too bad I don't know how to do it just yet. I guess this is the risks that are apart of life that we as adults must take in order to get through the tough times or what not. Whatever, i'm going to find a healthy balance sooner or later... hopefully sooner so I can handle my personal problems.... like the relationships in my life. ;)

The Ex-Effect...revised

I guess it's called the ex-effect. Seeing someone that you once had history with create history with someone new can make one quite territorial. I never understood it. What about an ex-effect with someone who doesn't have someone new... but you do? what would that be called.....the ex-back effect? or the selfish ex-effect? That clearly shows how much people do not know what they want in life. Romantic relationships are generally very confusing, which is why they generally fail for most people. Here is the real question. Is it out of sight, out of mind whenever one has a significant other but is still emotionally invested in their ex? Or, is it a situation of not knowing what you want.....I truly believe it's both. You know who you want, but you can't have who you want every day of the hour, which causes the selfish ex-effect or out of sight, out of mind. But who suffers the most in this; the ex, or the significant other? Like I said in an earlier blog, the people who suffer the most in relationships are the ones that are dealing with those who don't know what they want... All of this is just a bunch of unanswered questions that will be solved once all figured out...

one sentence. one thought.

People who suffer the most from love are those in relationships with others who don't know what they want.

BigPink...this one's for you.

I ate squid today.

It was supposed to be fried calamari, but it was soggy squid. I ate it because of past experiences with fried calamari but for some reason, this batch did not live up to the hype. Besides, isn't fried anything supposed to be good? Hmph. that is all I have to say about that one...tighten up BigPink.

My Obituary....class project

My Obituary
We celebrate the life of Nefertiti Alexander. She was daughter to John Crow Alexander and Marcia Ferguson; Sister to Makissa Lewis. She is survived by her 3 children, Nyala, Anthony, and Leonard. Nefertiti is a graduate from Florida International University, receiving her bachelors in Psychology. She married her husband Jesse Etienne in the coming years to create a beautiful family with her three children. Aside from her family, she created an empire in her career of public relations running the state’s top Public Relation firms, ARDEN Intl. ®. Her community work with young people is a testament to her amazing selflessness. By creating scholarship programs and help building better schools throughout inner cities all across America. Nefertiti also created a mentoring program for first time female college students in order to guide them through their tenure at University life. Along with her community work, Nefertiti is a best selling author of her book, Chronicles of a wannabe dropout, a satirical novel depicting life as a college student. Her book, written during her final years of college, has been the go-to guide for many first time college students. For all who knew her, she was a fun loving, caring soul. Always told the truth to whomever listened and always readily available for advice; Nefertiti was also known for wearing her heart on her sleeve, pant leg, and forehead; but yet it made her much more lovable with time. Her unique presence and distinctive personality will always be remembered with warmth and love in our hearts, minds, and memories.

Growing up is so hard, damn it!

I just started writing a few years ago; last year to be exact. I never expected to write as much as I do. I hated writing when I was in high school. I wrote in my journal only when I had a problem and it hurt my hand to write so much. Now I type, I and enjoy writing immensely. I am an observant person who gives pretty good advice. I'm not saying I want to be an advice columnist but I am saying that this isn't so bad after all. I guess in essence this is the beauty of the college student and this stage in the game…career moves. Never really knowing where we are going to go, or how we are going to get there. I started school set on being an entertainment publicist, with some failures and some success I found a different side of myself that led me to the world of advertising and sports…crazy combination, but it works. I, like most college students, have the hardest time focusing on what is important and prioritizing my life in the right fashion. I procrastinate on things that can be done in five minutes; I choose parties, friends, and fun over important school work. Those decisions are okay on occasion, but they are not okay to be habitual, which is what has been my and many other college students downfalls in the past. I know that the more enticing decision will be and always will be hanging out with friends, or going to the movies, but as we all get older in college and more and more friends are graduating or leaving, is when you, the procrastinator, feel left behind. There is always a point in the average college student's average lifestyle where being average is not kosher. Being average is not acceptable by any standards, usually when grad school only accepts above average anyway. I find it hard to keep track of what I want to be, I thought I wanted to be an entertainment publicist because of the fast paced hustle and bustle lifestyle that I have grown accustomed to, but I no longer want that. I am feeling a bit too old for that now. I even am thinking of family and love, the whole nine yards. But I'm beginning to also feel the old school tired thing too.

MY…space

I thought MySpace was a reflection of you? That facebook was a reflection of your face? Why has it become something for your friends to see? Why do we look at pics of ourselves and like them enough to post online because we know that it will be acceptable to our friends…for what reason do we do these things? I must say, that I was very uninterested with facebook and MySpace in their beginning stages. (I also feel really old, since I've been around and a member since its inception…) I did not enjoy sitting on a computer filling out a million facts about myself for my friends who already knew about these things to read. So I let my friend fill them out for me. Most of that information has been changed, due to the addictive nature of the website, especially in my freshman year. I would really like to know what college would be like without the claws of facebook. It's a new friggin' e-mail like the e-mail wasn't enough to replace our verbal social skills…but that is not the reason for my rant. The reason is a general one that includes all of these social technology tools. The cell phone, internet; all replacements for our mouths. Only thing our mouths do now is talk about what we've read or seen just a few minutes before to our friend who has seen the same exact, senseless thing as well. I realized the replacement mechanism when I explained to a friend to call his significant other if he wanted to patch things up. Let's not focus on the fact that he didn't know her number by heart, but focus on that him texted her instead. A text message is like writing a letter in shorthand. It is the most impersonal way to contact someone. I have seen so many times people get angry about a missed text or an unanswered text. I have missed seventeen million texts, because they are just texts, so therefore I can just return the call. But we are a different breed. We ask questions that are relevant to the now, and therefore if we text a question, it must be answered immediately. I have sent a million texts in the past half hour, if it isn't answered, I take solace in the fact that they might be just like me, and not see it. They will answer later or call, or nothing at all. But it wasn't that important for me to call, so therefore it's not that important for me to get a reply. If it's the coveted text message convo, the back and forth rambling of stuff, then that is when it is time to return a text with a telephone ring. Unless you are unable to, there is no excuse why you are using your thumbs to primarily communicate something to someone you can easily say it to. It used to be how we wait for the voicemail so we can say everything without conversation, but now, it's just a text. And it must be answered with the two letter response of o.k. or np (no prob, I just learned that myself) otherwise the whole world will end if you do not know that they received the text and read it. These technological advances have not advanced anything but how we relate to each other. Honestly, I believe that these 'advances' have ruined relationships as a whole. But then again, I'm not perfect; I use text as a way to reach out every once in awhile. I even use facebook to let people know I'm thinking of them by doing an occasional wall post. I'm not going to lie, a few profile pictures have rubbed me the wrong way, and even a few photo album photos raise questions. But I've improved a great deal. Maybe it's because I used to major in communications and I strongly believe in communicating. I thing we as people should talk about our feelings, say what is on our minds, and stop using facebook and MySpace to do the hard work for us. I know it shall be hard, but it's worth it trust me. I would be reaching if I said read a book, but that's for another time.